The Dukes of Hazzard Wiki

Chester Dade is a character from the series Enos.


Chester Dade is very particular about how he does things. He once held a case against his own mother to the Supreme Court.


House Cleaners[]

After breaking his leg, Melissa calls an ambulance. Two paramedics put him in a gunnery and take him out of the house. He screams about his broken leg, clinging to a rope and saying they ‘ain’t toting a sack’ before yelling in pain again. He tells them to rest and protests their moving him before yelling for Melissa. Melissa comes out of the house and the one EMT ties to suggest allowing them to cut off the boot. He becomes angry, telling the EMT to just try putting a knife to his lizard skins and the EMT will be blowing his nose through the back of his head. He yells for Melissa again, asking where has she been. She says she is coming before reaching his side. When she tells him to just sit still he yells at her, saying not to tell him what to do and calling her a frustrated heifer before telling her to give him his ‘arm’ which she does. The two EMT’s hide behind the door and he says maybe now he’ll get a little cooperation out of them. He says for them get ‘get around here’ calling them clumsy galutes and to get him to the ‘vet’ as he’s in pain. He tells them to see to it that they make the ride a little smoother now and to be easy as they get him in the ambulance, demanding to know where the hospital got them. He calls for Melissa again, asking if everything is locked up tight. She says she isn’t sure and he says to make sure as she knows he doesn’t trust the dudes in ‘this here neighborhood’. They load up the ambulance and head to the hospital.

At the hospital he gets aggravated with one of the nurses and chases her out of his room. A few moments later he screams for Melissa before wheeling out into the hallway, hard enough to crash into the wall on the other side. He tells her that one of the registered sadists stole his shooting arm, smuggled it right out of his room in a bedpan. He says he knows that is what happened. He notices Enos and Turk and asks if they are the two ‘star packers’ who robbed his house. Melissa tells him he ought to be in bed and he says for her not to tell him what he ought to be doing. He turns to the officers asking what is this he hears about two officers ‘ransacking my hacienda’ and Enos says they don’t know yet. He says for them not to pull a cover up and Turk says ‘no sir’ adding that if they find they really are cops they are going to nail them. He says if he finds out they were real Texas Ranger’s he’d believe them. Melissa apologizes to them and he snaps that he isn’t suggesting nothing, he’s telling and he doesn’t need her to interpret for him, calling her ‘Miss IQ’. He turns back to Turk and Enos, calling them muddle headed maggots and says they better get out there and clear this mess up and get his property back fast. A nurse comes up, scolding him and saying he is not to be out there. He screams that he is out there because one of her ‘lily white henchmen stole my arm’ to which he comments ‘the baby.’ She offers to get the gun back if he will get back in his bed. He yells that he isn’t moving an inch until he gets his arm back. She offers to give him a massage and starts rubbing his shoulders. He looks to Melissa, saying ‘ain’t she a precious little darling.’ He lets the nurse wheel him into his room.

While in his hospital room, he is visited by Enos and Lieutenant Broggi. He tries to throw a rope and fails before venting that he needs to get ‘out of this corral’ as he ain’t got any room in there. Broggi says that since he wasn’t robbed by police officers, Broggi was hoping he might reconsider his lawsuit. Dade gives him a sharp look and says their ain’t no way. Broggi and Enos go to leave but Enos stops and says maybe he’s right but he’s got to take blame for the whole thing. Enos tells him that he was there when it happened and he didn’t do a think to stop it. He tells Enos ‘you just keep on talking boy, you’re gonna make a great witness, for the plaintiff.’ Enos says that all he knows is that he will not tell a lie and since it’s his fault why don’t Mr. Dade sue the real party, him. He asks Enos if Enos has a million or two and Enos says no but he’s got some hogs back home and for the rest Dade can take it out of his salary until he gets even. Dade laughs, saying Enos is pulling his leg and Enos says ‘no Sir, especially not now.’ Enos says his daddy always told him that is he loses something of somebodies then he owes them what is his own. Broggi tells him that Enos is typical of the department, honest, loyal, and dependable. Broggi says that the department will stand behind Enos. Moved by both of their comments, Dade says he might have been a bit hasty and he’s reconsidered the lawsuit.

He gets a phone call and Melissa informs him that his safe was robbed. He becomes enraged and hangs up the phone. He says he’s reconsidered, saying he’s decided to sue them for two million dollars and he isn’t going to wait. He says Melissa said his safe has been cleared out, ‘emptier than old mother Hubbard’s cupboard’ and that he’s been robbed for the second time. He says for them both to get out of there before he has a heart attack. He adds that he hopes he does so he can charge them with cold blooded murder. The two officers flee, Enos calling back for him to have a nice day.

While he sits at the hospital waiting for Melissa, Enos and Turk arrive. Enos greets him asking if he’s going home and he says if Melissa don’t hurry up and get there he’s going to be too old to go home. Enos says they just wanted to stop by and he says he knows and Lt. Broggi already told him. Enos says that they should be heading out before telling him that he means no disrespect but he thinks Mr. Dade would be a whole lot happier if he smiles more and that in Hazzard they have an old saying that if you act happy you’ll be happy. Enos asks what’s a smile if you don’t give it away. He looks up at Enos before telling him in controlled anger that he wants to thank Enos for that and he’s going to remember that come Christmas. He adds he wants Enos to remember something and that if he tells Enos that tomorrow is Christmas, he wants Enos to grab his sock. Enos doesn’t pick up on his anger. The nurse goes to take him into her office to return his gun and he asks that she hasn’t shot anyone with it to which she says ‘not yet’.

Melissa arrives and says good morning to the officers to which he snarls ‘good evening Melissa’ before he starts yelling at her asking where has she been and she was supposed to be there two hours ago. He continues yelling as the nurse takes him into her office. Melissa then comes in a few moments later and starts yelling at him back.