"How to Succeed in Hazzard" is the eighteenth episode of the sixth season of The Dukes Of Hazzard.
Boss Hogg's nephew Dewey Hogg (Robert Morse), who is Hughie Hogg's older brother, returns to Hazzard for the first time in seven years, and Dewey says that he is dying from a rare and lethal sleeping disorder. Dewey convinces Boss that he wants to build the Dewey Hogg Memorial Clinic as his legacy, if Boss will put up $50,000 and get the town to put up another $50,000. It works, and Dewey and Boss get Jesse to guard the money, which then comes up missing, and Dewey frames Jesse for the scam. Luke and Daisy find that Dewey is faking his illness, and the Dukes devise a plan to get him to lead them right to the money. Luke's plan is to make Dewey believe he had drank some poison wine and that he really is going to die. Luke pretends to order a very expensive stomach pump which will save his life. As planned, Dewey, in distress at the thought of dying, rushes over to the bank to find the stolen money to pay for the stomach pump. It is then revealed that Dewey had simply transferred the money into a different safety deposit box. However, Luke's plan goes sour when Boss and Roscoe blow their scheme. Dewey is able to escape, and the Dukes must follow him in a long car chase. Dewey and his lovely nurse assistant are stopped, and made to march out of Hazzard in disgrace, without the money.
Balladeer: Uncle Jesse Duke ain’t pokin’ along this slow because he needs a value job. It’s because of that load of eggs he got there in the back, which he and Luke are taking to Hazzard for an ailing neighbor. Now this being Hazzard, the quiet life is about as laid back as old Jeb Stuart’s cavalry charge. See what I mean? Dewey Hogg is back in Hazzard for the first time in years. Now Dewey is old Boss’ nephew and he’s Hughie’s older brother. Dewey Hogg make his Uncle Boss seem respectable. He’s ornery, he’s greedy, and he’s crooked as a dog’s hind leg. And them’s his good points.
Jesse and Luke are in the pickup while Luke leans on his arm, looking sad. Luke glances back to check on the eggs in the back before leaning on his arm again. Jesse comments about the road, saying at this rate Henry’s chickens will have laid another truckload before they get back. Glancing at Luke he asks that Luke is already missing Bo. Luke says yes and Jesse says he just left yesterday. Luke says he knows but he’s worried about Bo and the new NASCAR engine and that he should be there with Bo. Jesse says they only wanted one and Luke says Bo won the toss. Jesse tells him to enjoy the quiet life.
An ambulance comes charging down the road. Inside Dewey has a cigar while the nurse opens a bottle of champaign. Dewey calls himself the slickest scoundrel in Georgia and says he is about to steal Hazzard blind.
Jesse and Luke are surprised and ran off the road by the ambulance, destroying the entire truck load of eggs. Luke looks back at the truck, with the license plate that reads ‘DEWEY’ and Dewey watches out the back window, amused. Meanwhile Luke informs Jesse it was Dewey Hogg to his shock. They look at the eggs to find none of them survived.
Daisy is at the Garage with Cooter, who is working on the General. Luke calls for her on the CB and Daisy answers before asking what is taking them so long. Luke says a little guy in a black suit with a long cigar who beat Daisy out of first prize in the all school spelling bee. Surprised Daisy says Dewey Hogg, which brings Cooter out from under the car. Luke asks her to figure out what Dewey is up to and she says she isn’t taking her eyes off him. Luke says they will be in town soon. After Daisy finishes Cooter asks to confirm he heard Dewey Hogg was back in town. He shakes his head and remarks there goes the neighborhood.
The two watch an ambulance charge through town and read to see what is going on.
Jesse and Luke are able to salvage a single case of eggs.
Hogg Family Home
Cooter and Daisy walk over to see the nurse and driver getting Dewey out of the ambulance in a wheel chair. Dewey comments Daisy looks lovely and Cooter looks likes he gained a pound or two. Daisy asks what he’s doing back and Dewey says he’s sick. Daisy reminds him he isn’t supposed to come back to Hazzard but Dewey says he is dying. Daisy and Cooter are confused and the two associates take him up to Boss’ house. Daisy says she doesn’t believe it and Cooter agrees he doesn’t either.
Inside, Boss is working out on a bike while eating a doughnut and drinking coffee. Hearing the door bell, he goes to the door and is furious to see Dewey. Boss drops his cup, smashing it. He says he never thought he’d see Dewey again and Dewey calls him Uncle Boss, angering Boss. Boss says he may be his nephew to which Dewey adds ‘your dying nephew’ but Boss talks over him saying he wants no part in it. He pushes Dewey and the other two out of his place before slamming the door and heading back to the kitchen only to realize Dewey said ‘dying nephew’. Boss opens the door and Dewey comes in with his associates. Boss falls down in his effort to keep space between him and Dewey and Dewey swears by it. Dewey shows Boss a medical report saying he has a rare and barely known subtropical sleeping disease. Dewey hugs Boss but he protests and asks the ‘nurse’ what is wrong with Dewey to which she says they don’t know if it’s contagious. Dewey pretends to fall asleep and Boss thinks he’s dead but Dewey says not yet but almost. Boss refuses to believe it and Dewey says he has proof and he wants to show Boss something on Sutter’s Road.
Jesse and Luke arrive and Daisy and Cooter tell them about what Dewey said. She also tells him that Dewey and Boss also just left in Boss’ car.
Dewey and the others show Boss the grave that Dewey has set up for himself and Boss remarks it is a beautiful site. Boss reads the stone that reads ‘here lies Dewey Hogg. He never met a man he didn’t rip off’. Boss takes this as confirmation that Dewey is dying. Dewey says he’s practically dead now. Boss says he believes him and Dewey says before he dies he wants to build a medical clinic for Hazzard. He says he wants it called the ‘Dewey Hogg Memorial Clinic’. Dewey says he will put in his $50,000 life savings into it and Boss says that the plans need nearly three times that. Dewey says he figured they could have a fund raiser to match that. Boss says they would still need another $50,000. Dewey says he thought Boss would put in the rest and Boss laughs saying Dewey must have lost all his marbles. Dewey shows Boss a life insurance policy for $300,000 saying he made Boss the beneficiary and Boss becomes ecstatic and agrees. As they hug, they steal each others wallets.
Town of Hazzard
The driver notices Daisy in town and grins at her. Daisy waves at him and goes over to talk to the driver. While she distracts him, Luke and Jesse go around the back of the ambulance. Jesse keeps watch while Luke goes inside and looks around. Dewey and the rest return and Jesse knocks to get Luke out. Luke says it all looked legitimate.
The Dukes watch as the driver and nurse help Dewey out of Boss car. Meanwhile Rosco arrives and is stunned to see Dewey, yelling that he is going to cuff and stuff him but Boss stops him. Boss says that the poor boy is dying and Daisy says Boss knows better than that. Luke agrees and Boss says that Dewey has reformed. Boss says they should know what he’s doing for Hazzard and Dewey pretends to have a fit. Boss and Rosco head inside while Dewey leaves with his associates. Jesse says they might be wrong and Dewey might actually be sick but Daisy and Luke disagree.
The next day Boss calls a meeting in the town square. Boss, Dewey, and Enos stand in the gazebo while Luke and the Dukes stand I the crowd. Boss explains the memorial clinic which Luke expresses disbelief for. Boss adds he and Dewey have each donated $50,000 each and asks the town to put up $50,000 which shocks them. Dewey addresses the people and says he knows they don’t trust him which is why he is picking the most honest person in Hazzard to be responsible for the money, Jesse Duke. The crowd becomes excited, Jesse is nervous, and Luke, Daisy, and Cooter are skeptical. Jesse declines but Boss says he knows that Jesse is the most honest person. They put it to a vote and everyone with the exception of the Dukes and Cooter agree. Luke says they are playing into his hands but Jesse decides to do it. Jesse counts the money publicly. Daisy and Luke worry about what Dewey is up to, and seeing the pretty nurse smiling at him Luke decides to talk to her. The two walk away and Daisy remarks ‘that’s my cousin’ to which Cooter says ‘he’s a Duke boy alright.’
Luke uses the pay phone and calls who the nurse told him was Dewey’s doctor. Meanwhile the nurse confirms to Dewey that Luke fell for their trick. Luke calls the Doctor in Cleveland.
Bank of Hazzard
Boss, Jesse, Daisy, Cooter, and the people of Hazzard put the money in Jesse’s safety deposit box in the bank. They leave the bank as a group and Boss locks the vault.
Luke says that the Doctor, if he was real, confirmed Dewey is terminally ill. Daisy says if the doctor and the ambulance both check out maybe he isn’t faking. Luke says the only way to be sure is keep an eye on the bank. They see the ambulance rush out of town and Jesse wonders where a dying man is off to in such a hurry. Cooter says the cemetery isn’t in that direction and Luke and Daisy get in the General, following them. Cooter and Jesse watch them go.
The ambulance continues to speed with the General Lee following. Dewey learns about it and calmly turns on an oil slick to throw them off.Luke hits the oil and they slide off the road and lose a tire. Daisy and Luke watch the ambulance disappear. Daisy asks if Luke thinks it was Dewey and Luke asks who else would it be. They change the tire.
Luke meets with Mack Magee and looks over the plans of bank, Magee confirming he already rigged it as Dewey asked. Mack then hands over a key to Jesse’s deposit box, telling Dewey it is number 115.
Luke starts to fix the tire, frustrated while Daisy watches and Jesse feeds a piglet. Luke says he just wants to shake Dewey and Jesse says there is a chance he reformed. Luke says there is a reason Jesse is involved as Dewey never forgave him for whipping him after he pushed Daisy off a roof in a soapbox airplane. Daisy says Dewey had her convinced she could fly. Jesse says Daisy could have gotten hurt. Luke gets an idea and says Dewey has always liked her and Luke is sure Daisy could get him out of the chair. Daisy is not fond of the plan and Luke says they would need Boss to see it. Daisy agrees.
Town of Hazzard
Boss has a fundraiser board set up to show the people of Hazzard what they have made so far for the hospital. Boss announces they have made all the money and everyone in the crowd clasp. Enos grins and Boss introduces Dewey again. Dewey says he needs to rest and his associates take him to Boss’ house while Boss and Jesse take the $50,000 to the bank. Meanwhile Luke, Cooter, and Daisy talk. Luke tells Daisy they will have Boss at the house exactly five minutes after she gives the signal. She says he better and the boys assure her that they will be right outside the whole time. Daisy agrees and heads over.
Bank of Hazzard
Enos, Rosco, Boss, and the people watch as Jesse adds the last $50,000 into the box.
Hogg Family Home
Daisy sits with Dewey in the house, saying she believes he is reformed. Outside Luke and Cooter stand by the window to watch. Daisy says about how the first time she noticed Dewey was when he was in third grade and spread a rumor that everyone had the bubonic plague. They also talk about him selling school property in ninth grade. Dewey then says he’s a changed man and Daisy laments it, saying she doesn’t know if she likes this new Dewey. As Daisy implies she has fallen for him and pretends to cry. Dewey gets up out of the chair, confirming what Luke, Daisy, and Cooter knew before he begins to chase Daisy. Luke goes to get Boss as Cooter stays. Dewey begins chasing Daisy around the living room and Daisy breaks things to keep him back. She tells him to keep away from her but he keeps chasing her. Daisy tells him to stop.
Bank of Hazzard
Luke approaches Boss, Jesse, Rosco, and Enos as they come out of the bank. Luke says Dewey is acting peculiar for a sick man. Boss assumes his condition has taken a turn for the worst and rushes home. Boss and Rosco take the convertible and Luke is frustrated what they will mess up everything.
Hogg Family Home
Dewey reaches for Daisy and she breaks a vase on his head, telling him to keep away from her. Cooter continues to watch as Boss and Rosco arrive. Boss meanwhile demands to know what the nurse and river are doing outside. Inside Hughie goes for Daisy again and she throws a vase at him this time. Boss and Rosco come in and Dewey throws himself to the ground. Dewey claims Daisy attacked him as the nurse and driver help him into the wheelchair. Cooter comes in with Luke and Jesse and they tell Boss that Dewey was chasing Daisy all over the house but Boss refuses to believe it. Boss says Daisy is dying and Dewey is dying. The other Dukes says neither are true and Dewey’s associates take hi out of the house and to the ambulance. Dewey realizes it was close and they need to go to the bank.
Town of Hazzard
The Dukes and Cooter conclude that at least they know Dewey is faking it but Cooter wants to know what they are going to do now. Luke says they need to wait until he makes a move for the money. Seeing the ambulance making a run out of town Luke says ‘dang it here we go again’ and he and Daisy chase after them.
As Luke and Daisy follow the ambulance, Dewey uses another trick to drop glass on the road. Lukes stops before running through it.
Town of Hazzard
The ambulance goes back into town and Luke follows, seeing it parked by the bank. He and Daisy go over to the window and look in but the vault is closed.
Bank of Hazzard
Dewey gets into the vault from under ground. He opens the box next to Jesse’s, 114, and moves all of the money from Jesse’s box to that one. Once finished he closes both boxes and leaves through the ground back to the ambulance parked over a man hole cover.
Rosco and Boss return and are surprised to see Luke and Daisy looking through the bank window. Luke decides to go through the back door and they see Dewey getting pushed around by the nurse. Daisy ‘falls’ across Dewey’s lap and Luke checks a wheel. However Boss and Rosco come running over asking what they want with Dewey. Dewey announces that the money must be gone as he can feel it in his bones that they are ruined.
Cooter, the Dukes, Boss, Rosco, Dewey, and the nurse rush into the bank to check. Jesse opens the box to see the money is indeed gone. Jesse says the money was there a half hour ago. Dewey and the nurse accuse Jesse of stealing the money. Boss orders Rosco to arrest them and Luke, Daisy, Jesse, and Cooter bolt. Outside Luke is giving Luke a ticket for illegal parking. Enos apologizes and the Dukes quickly brush it off and accept the ticket as they get in the car. Cooter holds the door shut until the Dukes drive away before letting Boss and Rosco out. They order Enos to chase the Dukes. Rosco attempts to go as well but he and Enos crash and knock out a hire hydrant.
Luke says he must have hidden the money and he probably left the money in the bank. Daisy says they need to prove it and Jesse asks how. Luke suggests what if Dewey really thought he was dying. Jesse agrees he would run to the money and Luke says he has an idea but he needs to talk to Boss first.
Boss and Rosco help dry Boss off and he yells at them for losing Dewey. Luke, Jesse, and Daisy come in and they lay out the situation to Boss, and Boss realizes Dewey really is probably the bad guy here. Luke explains his plan to them, saying they have a small chance to get this.
Hogg Family Home
Dewey is looking at his reflection in a mirror when Boss, Rosco, Daisy, and Luke come in. Luke tells him he can cut the dying act. Confused, Dewey asks what is going on and they say they came to celebrate his victory. Boss says they all know Dewey stole the money. Daisy says there is nothing they can do about it, and Luek says that they figured they might as well toast his victory. Dewey says he doesn’t buy it but they all pour the champagne. When Luke is offered some he declines saying he never touches the stuff. Luke toasts Dewey and everyone but Luke drinks. After a moment Rosco goes to leave for work when he starts ‘seizing’ and collapses while saying it is the champaign. They check on Rosco and confirm he’s dead before Daisy ‘dies’ saying Luke will have to do his own laundry. Boss then ‘dies’. Luke signals Jesse at a phone booth and Jesse calls the house.
Luke answers the phone and claims it’s the Atlanta Poison Control. Luke says there was a bottle of Chateauneuf de Picard from 1970 that was laced with poison and it was traced to Hazzard. Dewey asks for the antidote only to be told that there isn’t one and he needs to get a stomach pump as he only has an hour. Dewey claims he’s in pain and he needs a stomach pump. Luke pretends to call Gussie to connect him to the emergency room at Capitol City. He tells Dewey that it will cost a lot and Dewey offers $30,000. Luke asks where he’ll get that and he tells Luke he got it in the bank.
Luke carries Dewey out and Boss, Daisy, and Rosco get up. Daisy asks if Boss left the bank open like he was told to and Boss confirms it. The three excitedly head over to watch what happens.
Bank of Hazzard
Luke helps Dewey into the bank vault. Dewey gives Luke the key to the box as he continues to be distressed and Luke opens the box to find the money. However as they pull out the money, Boss and Rosco trip in the bank. Dewey realizes they tricked him and he knocks Luke down before pulling the vault door shut. He grabs the money and goes out through the tunnel, Luke waking up to witness it. Outside the ambulance picks Dewey up.
Boss and Rosco try to open the vault and Rosco corrects Boss saying the combination is two to the right and one to the left. Angry Boss tells him to stand away and not listen. Daisy and Jesse arrive and Rosco tells them Luke is still in the vault.
Outside Dewey gets in the ambulance and he and the other two flee. Meanwhile they get the vault open and Luke tells them he got hit in the head and Dewey had an escape hatch that he slipped out with. They all rush out after Dewey, accidently hitting Rosco with the vault door. Outside Cooter informs them that he saw the ambulance head down highway seven. Luke says for Cooter to go with Uncle Jesse in the pickup while he and Daisy will but them off in the General. Rosco tells everyone to freeze as he’s in charge and he gives orders. He then says for everyone to follow Luke’s orders.
Dewey and the nurse toast with champaign, assuming they have won. They take Old Ridge Road where Enos is sitting, eating a sandwich. Enos is baffled by the ambulance and radios Rosco about it and informs everyone it was on Old Ridge Road. Rosco tells Enos to follow it. Luke tells everyone they are heading cross country and Jesse agrees to follow them. Luke comments he hopes the shocks hold up before they come back to the road, in front of Boss and Rosco.
Dewey and the nurse bail out of the ambulance. Enos continues to chase it. Meanwhile they go to a caged cart they stashed. As Luke and the others continue Luke sees Dewey’s hat and stops. Jesse does as well but Boss and Rosco keep going after the ambulance. Luke finds tire tracks and realize they switched cars.
Enos finds the ambulance and it is abandoned. Boss and Rosco arrive as well, accidently crashing into the back of Enos’ car. They also find the ambulance was empty.
Luke locates Dewey and the nurse, who are surprised to see the Dukes found them. As the pickup starts taking a beating Daisy and Luke realize he won’t be able to keep up. Luke cuts Dewey off, forcing him down another road and jumping after them. Jesse is unable to continue following them. Dewey tries to out maneuver Luke but accidently drives into the pit he dug for his grave.
Balladeer: Boss made Dewey walk out of the county for his health, and Rosco made sure that he left, for everybody else’s health. So everything had settled down by the time old Bo called in. And the next day the Dukes made sure that Boss spent the money on what it was intended, a medical clinic. And to soften the blow on old Bosses wallet, they agreed to name it the J.D. Hogg memorial Clinic. Old Boss was going to do something right in spite of himself. With a little help from the Dukes.
Town of Hazzrad
People watch as Dewey and his group are forced out of town. Dewey promise he will be back in seven years.
Jesse gets a call from Bo and Daisy comes running in as Luke gets the phone. Luke greets him saying ‘hey there stranger’ and Bo asks how he is and if they got in any trouble without him. Luke says no, it’s been quiet making Jesse and Daisy laugh. Bo gets called away and says he has to get back but he’ll call as soon as he can. Luke says everyone sends their love and for Bo to take care and get home soon.
Town of Hazzard
The next day the citizens’ of Hazzard gather for a ground breaking for a medical clinic.
- John Schneider as Bo Duke
- Tom Wopat as Luke Duke
- Catherine Bach as Daisy Duke
- Denver Pyle as Uncle Jesse Duke
- Ben Jones as Cooter Davenport
- Sorrell Booke as Boss Hogg
- James Best as Rosco Purvis Coltrane
- Sonny Shroyer as Enos Strate
- Waylon Jennings as Balladeer
- Bo is testing a new racing engine for NASCAR
- Dewey Hogg is introduced as Hughie's older brother who was kicked out of Hazzard 7 years ago.
- Dewey beat Daisy out of first prize at the All-School Spelling Bee
- At one point Dewey convinced Daisy she would be able to fly and attempted to push her off a roof in a soapbox airplane. Jesse caught him and gave him a whipping for it and Dewey has never forgiven him
- In third grade Dewey spread a rumor that everyone had bubonic plague and got school cancelled for a week.
- In ninth grade Dewey traded all the chairs and desks from the school for two operating stills
- Dewey's scam is claiming to build a medical clinic forthe people of Hazzard
- The second Hazzard reunion movie is centered around raising funds for a hospital for Hazzard
- The emergency room at Capitol City is an hour away from Hazzard
- Bo does not appear in this episode, because John Schneider was at a NASCAR rally. He is also absent in "The Fortune Tellers", although, he can be seen in these two episodes at the end, making a phone call, since that part was filmed before he left for the rally.
- Despite the state Hazzard is in never being outright stated, it was generally accepted to be in Georgia. This is mostly due to the close proximity to Atlanta and because the first five episodes were filmed in Georgia. This is the only episode for a character to state they are in Georgia, Dewey saying he is the slickest scoundrel in Georgia