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Igor is a character from the Dukes of Hazzard.

History[]

“Mad Russian” ran off by the Russian Mafia for being too crooked. He set up an operation in Los Angeles dealing in bootlegged CD’s, cigarettes, and any crime he can get in.

He and his wife participate in line dancing contests every Saturday night.

Appearances[]

The Dukes of Hazzard: Hazzard in Hollywood![]

While on the phone, he is approached by Patch and his partner. He greets Patch, asking if he has another load of contraband cigarettes. Patch says no, he has something bigger and Igor says that’s too bad as he has a new line of CD’s naming Mili Vanilli and Frankie Avalon. He says he also has rural music and one of his men tell him it’s called Country music. He goes to poke the man’s eyes but the guard blocks him. Remarking ‘whatever’ Igor turns back to Patch. He says it has a Russian soul in it. Patch says he wants to hire his meanest muscle to help stop a bunch of hillbillies. Igor asks what is Hillbillies. Patch says they are crazy people who cause trouble. He concludes ‘Cosacos’ and says that is no problem. He starts labeling the men he has and Patch asks how much. He says for Patch, just 2 thousand a day plus he has to take a number of CD’s. Patch agrees.

The next day, he and his people confront B.B. and he asks where his 50 thousand dollars are. B.B. tries to say he was going to call him and Igor says he will be dead by the afternoon. He says B.B. still owes him money for black market CD’s and it’s very simple, pay or die. B.B. says he’s about to get a deal with 100 thousand finder’s fee. He says if B.B. found Elvis he wouldn’t get that much. He tells Tatiana, one of his employees, to kill the man. B.B. begs for him to wait, saying there are some really good tapes from a place called Hazzard including Loretta Lynn, Merle Haggard, Toby Keith, none of which mean anything to him. B.B. says a major label would pay half a million for the rights and he asks that B.B. has the tapes. B.B. says he’s going to get them now. He tells B.B. to bring the tapes to him and they will cancel. B.B. says he’ll end up with nothing and he calls Tatiana again. B.B. agrees.

He goes to see B.B. the next day and asks where are the tapes. B.B. says the Dukes said the tapes were stolen and he asks that B.B. believes Cosacos. He asks where are the hillbillies then sends his men after the Dukes.

He gets a phone call from Patch while eating dinner of fried chicken, saying he has the tapes. He asks how Patch got them and is told ‘brains and quickness’. Patch says for him he will sell the tapes for 250 thousand. He tells Patch to meet him that night at the Bloody Bucket and bring the tapes. When asked why he yells ‘because it’s Saturday!’ before hanging up. He yells about Patch apologetic garbage and one of his men correct him saying he means ‘that sorry white trash’. He yells whatever at the employee.

Contest

Igor and his wife Alleluyeva participate in the line dancing contest every Saturday, winning first place. After claiming his trophy, he

kisses his wife saying she is too sexy for his jacket. They sit down and he sees Patch. He asks Patch if he brought the tapes, and Patch shows them. Patch asks if he brought the money and he pokes Patch on the head asking if he lost his mind. He says they will check the tapes at his warehouse and if they are okay he will give Patch the money. Upset, Patch leaves to wait for him.

The next morning he goes to this warehouse and learns about Bo and Luke. After paying Patch he tells them that they dared to challenge Igor the Terrible, calling them stupid red-heads. His men tell him that the phrase is red-neck. He agrees calling them stupid rednecks. He orders his men to kill Bo and Luke. An earthquake strikes. He hides behind his desk as things calm down saying ‘okay, okay, you win, hillbillies have everyone on their side.’

His operation is closed down.

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