Mrs. Rosco P. Coltrane is the ninth episode of season three of the Dukes of Hazzard.
After meeting a woman through a computer dating service, Rosco plans to get married. Boss Hogg plans for him to invite everyone in town to his wedding, except The Dukes. This makes them the only possible suspects for the bank robbery he's arranging to take place during the ceremony. Unaware that Rosco's fiancé and her gang are planning a robbery of their own.
Balladeer: It all started on one of them Hazzard spring mornings. Flowers were popping open, alfalfa was blowing in the breeze and the bees were making out with their honeys. General Lee had just had a spring tonic tune-up and old Bo and Luke were letting it all hang out. And it looks like somebody else is fire-walling too.
Bo is driving as he and Luke test their tune up. The General and another car head for the same intersection, not seeing each other. The cars come together and Bo is forced off the road, wrecking the General. The car stops for a moment and the two men argue about what happened. When the Dukes get out they flee. Luke checks on Bo and Bo calls Cooter.
Balladeer: Over at the Sheriff’s office the second part of this little tale is about to unfold.
Rosco arrives for work with Flash. He tries to give Flash another lesson about attacking and Cletus approaches him and tells him someone is waiting in his office. Rosco tells him that no one goes in the office but Boss or Flash. Cletus says it’s his girlfriend. Shocked, Rosco asks what is Sue Ann doing in Hazzard and Cletus says he recognized her by the sent on the letters she has been sending. Rosco asks why he didn’t start with that before going into the office. He talks to Sue Ann who asks about their wedding. Rosco is stunned and when she threatens to leave he agrees to marry her. She says she wants to get married and Rosco reluctantly agrees. After Sue Ann leaves Rosco realizes exactly what he agreed to.
Cooter tows back the General and as Bo and Luke look it over, Daisy and Jesse arrive. They explain they were in a hit and run and Jesse asks if they know who it was. They go inside to get the bill from Cooter. Mama Coltrane goes to the police station, talking to Cletus before going to find Rosco as he didn’t come home for lunch again. Outside Sue Ann tells Vic and Russ that everything is set for their plan.
Bo and Luke are upset at the bill for the General when they see the men who ran them off the road. They take the jeep and chases after the men. Rosco tells his mother about the wedding, upsetting her. She insists he isn’t ready to get married. Bo and Luke chase after the men who caused all the damage to the General. Rosco stands up to his mother and upset, she leaves. Bo and Luke take a back alley to cut off the men but they find a preacher and a nun in the car they were chasing. They head back.
Boss and Cletus come into Rosco’s office, shocked to have just learned that Rosco is getting married. Cletus is stunned but Boss is angry and says that Rosco is not going to get married as he needs the Sheriff to only answer to him. He says he doesn’t need a bossy wife telling Rosco what he should and shouldn’t do and the marriage is cancelled, disappointing Cletus. Rosco tells him he already made his arrangements. Cletus reminds him that tomorrow is the day the special miner’s payroll is coming into Boss’ bank. Boss says this would leave his bank unguarded while everyone is at the wedding where anyone could walk in and steal the payroll. Suddenly getting an idea Boss retracts his previous statements saying he will not stand in Rosco’s way. They send Cletus away and Boss says he is going to let Rosco married and after they will share the payroll after Boss has the bank robbed. Rosco remarks he doesn’t want to invite the Dukes to his wedding. Boss argues that the Dukes too as there comes a time for forgiveness. However he gets another idea and says this isn’t that time as the Dukes would be the biggest suspect if they are the only ones not to come to the wedding.
Bo and Luke continue to look when a girl that Bo knows approaches them and Bo starts talking to her. Above them, Russ and Vic are looking at escape routes. They accidently drop the binoculars, alerting Bo and Luke to their location. Bo and Luke climb to the roof and chase after them. As they cross a wooden board, Bo falls off and Luke has to stop to help him. The time allows the two to escape. Luke gets their plate number, something that Bo remarks ‘good eyes’ as they are still on the roof.
Rosco heads out to the Hazzard Emporium to get his wedding suit. Bo and Luke approach him and try to report a hit and run, shocking Cletus but Rosco ignores them. Bo yells to get his attention and Rosco greets them. Cletus tells them that Rosco is getting married and Bo and Luke congratulate him. Bo tries to give him the license plate but Rosco leaves. They then turn to Cletus but Cletus says he can’t do anything without Rosco telling him before leaving as well. Luke decides for them to do it themselves.
Boss calls two men, Jake and Jim, who he is hiring to rob the bank for ten grand.
Town of Hazzard
Bo borrows Cooter’s phone and calls the State Police, pretending to be Rosco. However while they call, the car is destroyed. Bo is told that the car was stolen in Handlyville. Luke decides to go out again in the General.
Sue Ann goes to the Boar’s Nest and Daisy and Jimmy learn Rosco is getting married. Boss meets Sue Ann and Lulu arrives. Lulu starts planning the wedding, wanting to hold it at the church but Sue Ann and Boss both want it at the Boar’s Nest. Boss and Lulu leave to deal with the arrangements and Bo and Luke arrive. Daisy points out Sue Ann to them. Rosco arrives and Bo points her out to him. They try to make a report with Rosco but Rosco brushes it off. The boys talk to Sue Ann asking where they met and her and Rosco give different answers. Rosco asks what their official business is and they tell him about the hit and run drivers. They realize Sue Ann and the drivers were from the same place and describe the men to her but Rosco says that description could be anyone. Rosco dismisses the boys saying he will deal with it after their honeymoon. Outside Luke expresses suspicion about the woman which Bo agrees with. As Sue Ann goes out, the boys decide to follow.
Balladeer: Friends, Hazzard County was beginning to hum like bees around a honeycomb. While Bo and Luke were checking out the bride-to-be the miner’s all-cash payroll was rolling toward the Bank of Hazzard. And Boss’ personal bank robbers were setting out from Atlanta to pull the same job Sue Ann and her confederates were planning. Now, did I leave anything out?
Bo and Luke spy on the meeting between Sue Ann and the two men. They sneak closer to see what they can overhear. The three talk about Bo and Luke and decide to kill them so there is no witnesses. Bo steps on a stick and they alert the three to their presence. Not finding the boys, they leave.
Bo and Luke go to the Telephone Company and confirm that there is no Sue Ann Bliss in Handlyville. Luke says that either Bliss isn’t her real name or she isn’t from there. They head back to the Farm and fill in Jesse on what they learned. Jesse informs them that they aren’t invited to Rosco’s wedding. Daisy says everyone in Hazzard was invited and Jesse says that they were the exception. Offended the three younger Dukes conclude Rosco can do this himself and Jesse tells them that if they know Rosco is in trouble it’s their duty to inform Rosco about it. The boys agree and head back to town.
Town of Hazzard
Bo and Luke go into town where they run into Cletus. Luke tells Cletus that he and Bo have a wager about how Sue Ann and Rosco met. They tell him it was between a picnic and a blind date and Cletus says they met through the mail. Cletus leaves to get ready for the wedding and the boys go into the Police Department, being spotted by Russ and Vic. Inside Bo and Luke look through the Office while the two men mess with the General. Bo finds the newspaper add from the computer dating service. Luke finds the wanted posters of Sue Ann and the other two. Luke decides they need to go to the wedding. The boys go out and get in the General, heading to the Boar’s Nest. Along the way Luke gets worried about Bo’s driving and Bo tells him they have no breaks. Bo and Luke try to keep from wrecking and manages to stop by running onto a hey truck.
Everyone starts arriving for the wedding. Boss calls everyone to order to officiate the wedding. Boss’s two men start heading into Hazzard. Boss starts the wedding by sending in Rosco, who is wearing a white suit. Boss is upset and offended. Boss then has the bride come in. Boss marries the two while Lulu and Mama Coltrane cry.
Luke finds that the break line was cut and Bo says the carburetor is jammed. Luke decides to take the horse that is grazing nearby. Bo want’s to ‘drive’ but Luke says after what just happened Bo is crazy. Bo asks if Old Man Miller will be upset if they borrow the horse and Luke says not if they have Daisy return it with a couple quarts of her pickled peaches. As the wedding continues, Boss’ two men get a flat tire and do not have a spare. McGraw and Collins break into the bank.
Bo and Luke arrive at the farm on the horse and Daisy takes the horse to the barn while Bo and Luke fill Jesse in on what they learned. The four take the jeep to the Boar’s Nest to fill in Rosco.
The Dukes arrive and go to Cletus. Cletus mentions that there is a special cash payroll in the Bank and they realize that is what the men want. They inform Boss, who thinking his men stole the money is not too concerned. When Bo and Luke show him the poster and he learns someone else stole the money he becomes alarmed. Boss yells that he deputizes everyone and they flee to the bank.
Sue Ann tries to get Rosco to pull over and when he does he’s ambushed by McGraw and Collins. He’s put in the trunk as the three flee. Rosco starts banging on the trunk when Bo and Luke arrive and free him. Rosco is worried about Sue Ann being kidnapped and they offer to take Rosco with them but the jeep is flooded. The three get in Rosco’s car, Bo driving and Rosco in the backseat. As they head out, Bo and Luke show Rosco the poster and explain the situation to Rosco. Bo explains the situation to him and Rosco accuses them of lying. Luke snaps they have never lied to him. Rosco realizes that Sue Ann lied to him. Bo apologizes and Rosco says he is too but his Mama said he was too young to get married anyway. Luke tells Bo to take Cross Creek Road and cut the dry river bed. Rosco protests as Bo jumps the creek. The boys spot a car and Bo turns on the lights. When the car doesn’t slow down they suspect it’s Sue Ann. Vic starts shooting at them and Luke tells Bo to keep the car on the road. Luke grabs a thing of tear gas and Bo run them off the road. Luke tosses tear gas in the car and smoke the three out. Bo and Luke grab all three and they are arrested by Rosco. Rosco confronts Sue Ann who says she’s sorry that she did it to Rosco. Rosco arrests all three.
Balladeer: So old Rosco had to be content with making a little history. He was the only annulment in the Court of Hazzard County. They even had to look it up. Mama Coltrane didn’t have to jump off of no high building. Boss got his payroll money back all right, but it did cost him. The Duke boys hit him for a reward of exactly what it cost to fix the General up. And if you all think Rosco’s wedding was something, you ought to see what happens on a Hazzard honeymoon.
Daisy pours Rosco a beer before hugging him. He sits with Jesse and they talk. Boss hands over the money to fix the General Lee to Bo and Luke. Mama Coltrane then serves them food.
- Tom Wopat as Luke Duke
- John Schneider as Bo Duke
- Catherine Bach as Daisy Duke
- Denver Pyle as Uncle Jesse Duke
- James Best as Sheriff Rosco Coltrane
- Sorrell Booke as Boss Hogg
- Ben Jones as Cooter Davenport
- Rick Hurst as Cletus Hogg
- Waylon Jennings as The Balladeer
- Peggy Rea as Lulu Hogg
- Lucille Benson as Mama Coltrane
- Tori Lysdahl as Sue Ann McGraw
- William Sanderson as Collins
- Reid Smith as McGraw
- Town of Hazzard
- Duke Farm
- Boar's Nest
- The P. in Rosco's full name stands for Purvis
- Rosco met his future wife through a computer dating program
- In this episode we meet Mama Coltrane
- Bo calls Luke 'Lucas' while chasing after Sue Ann and her freinds
- Bo's birth name of Beauregard is only used in one episode. Bo and Cooter occasionally use Luke's birth name of Lucas but usually in a teasing manner.