Patch is a character from the Dukes of Hazzard.
After being hired to scare the Dukes and the others back to Hazzard, he waits along the path they will take before shooting out a tire on Rosco’s RV. When everyone stops he shoots out the spare tire on the back, then the back window. He watches amused as the others take cover. His partner says he thinks Patch missed them and he rolls his eye, annoyed. He snaps that he wasn’t trying to hit them, referring to his partner as stupid, and saying he was trying to scare them. He moves on but after a moment he realizes his partner didn’t follow and yells ‘move it brains’.
When the Dukes and the rest continue, he calls his boss and tells him that they are dumber than a rock and shooting didn’t stop them and he’s on it.
Three days later he follows the Dukes to where they set up camp, saying the city will tear them to pieces. He says the town will eat the crumbs and they leave. They head to Igor and when they reach him, Igor asks if Patch has another load of contraband cigarettes. He says no, he’s got something bigger. Igor tells him about his new music line and how he now has country music as well. He tells Igor he wants to hire some of his meanest muscle to help stop a number of hillbillies. When asked what a hillbilly is he says they are crazy unpredictable people who come out of the hills and cause trouble. Igor says sure and he asks how much will they cost. He is told 2 grand a day and a number of CD’s. Patch agrees, saying he drives a hard bargen.
He goes back to the camp to watch Cletus, Rosco, Bo, and Luke. After making sure they are distracted, he steals the RV. Bo and Luke chase after him with Cletus and Rosco but he goes down a tunnel.
After stealing the RV, he calls his boss Ezra saying they stole the RV and they got the money, tossing a wad to his partner. He says they don’t have any tapes, are stopped cold, and he will keep an eye on them. They laugh about their victory as they hang up.
While watching the Dukes the next morning, he is shocked to see Igor’s men arrive. He asks what are the crazy Russians doing there. He learns the tapes in their possession are worth half a million and when the Russians chase the Dukes, he and his partner go to flee. They stop at the truck and reminds his partner that they got them. He says to have Igor chase the Dukes now, they’ll sell them to him later and take the money and run. They leave.
He returns to the campsite after Igor’s men leaves and calls his boss to fill him in. He watches Rosco and Cletus leave and follows them to keep an eye on them.
He stops and makes a phone call to Ezra when he goes to leave and is seized by two large men. Deacon approaches him with a bat. He tries to tell Deacon that he didn’t know they were stolen, calling her baby which enrages her. She tells him she wants her racing engine back. He quickly tells her he sold it to some dudes from New Jersey. He says they operate out of Tio Paco’s chop shop. She threaten him before leaving, her men giving him his cigarette and fixing his coat as they leave. He yells after her to tell her there is a big 01 painted on the side.
When Rosco gets a loan from Sharon, he waits outside for Rosco and then attacks him with a gun, yelling for Rosco to hand over the money. Rosco does. He flees with it.
He calls Igor to tell him he has the tapes. When asked how he got them he says brains an quickness and the price to Igor is 250 thousand. Igor says to meet him at the ‘Bloody Bucket’ and when he asks why Igor yells because it’s Saturday before hanging up.
Patch arrives at the Bloody Bucket to see Igor and Igor’s wife win the line dancing contest. Igor asks if he brought the tapes, and he shows them. He asks if Igor brought the money. Igor asks if he lost his mind, and they will check the tapes at his warehouse and if they are okay he will give Patch the money. Annoyed, he leaves to go to the warehouse.
He goes to the warehouse where he meets his partner. They go inside and he presents the tapes, saying for the employee to check them out and call Igor after. He says to be careful with them. As the tapes are being checked, he has a cigarette and says once they are done, he and Ty are going traveling. He is startled when Luke punches Ty, knocking him out. Bo grabs him from behind saying ‘sit down why don’t ya’ before tossing him in a chair. Luke says they got something of theirs and he asks they do. However Igor’s men capture Bo and Luke.
The next morning they receive their money from Igor. He concludes the Dukes had followed him from the Bloody Bucket. When Igor orders the boys to be killed he remarks ‘say your prayers boys’ but an earthquake hits. As they take cover, Bo and Luke bolt with the money and tapes. One of Igor’s men calls him an idiot and they chase after them. While pursuing them he calls a call from Ezra. He is asked if he destroyed the tapes and he says he’s taking care of it now. Ezra asks about the Dukes and he remarks he’s kinda busy right now and can he get back to him later.
He spots Bo and Luke and traps them in an ally. Before he can do much Daisy and Gabby arrive. Daisy shoots a prop into the back of his truck, distracting him. The three Dukes and Gabby escape. He chases after them in the truck, following them on a movie set. They chase the Dukes through a number of movie sets when he flips his truck. He gets a call from Ezra but is forced to hang up as he is confronted with furious cast and crew.
He is arrested by the LAPD and informs them of Ezra's plan to string Hazzard along an how he was hired to keep the Dukes from raising the money for the hospital.