The Dukes of Hazzard Wiki
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Woody, is a minor character in The Dukes of Hazzard.

History[]

For twenty years Woody worked in the theater.

At some point he partners with Arnie and Kelly. They learn there is an armored truck moving one million dollars through Hazzard and decide to hijack it. Figuring the best way to do that is to pretend to be Rosco P. Coltrane, he has a plastic surgery job done to look like Rosco.

Appearances[]

Too Many Roscos[]

At the hideout, Arnie and Kelly show him a new video they took of Rosco. Arnie asks if he’s seen enough of Rosco and he remarks ‘I suppose so.’ The two remind him he has to be Rosco for the armored truck. He addresses the two as ‘gentlemen’ saying they have nothing to worry about. He says he is more than ready, smiling like Rosco does in the video. When they remark that the doc did one heck of a plastic job on his face, he tells them ‘Gentlemen, as we have a saying in the theater, which I have been associated for twenty years. Let’s get this show on the road.’

After Arnie and Kelly kidnap Rosco, he changes into Rosco’s uniform. When Arnie and Kelly have Rosco tied to a chair, he comes into the room shocking the Sheriff. Rosco remarks that mama didn’t say there were two of them. He says there isn’t, there is only one Rosco P. Coltrane and that’s him. Rosco says he can’t be Rosco, as Rosco is Rosco. Woody says not as long as he is Rosco. Rosco says he can’t fool him as he’s known himself longer. Woody addresses him as ‘my dear Mr. Coltrane’ saying there can’t be two sheriffs in Hazzard when the armored car gets there and Arnie scolds him for talking too much. Rosco says it won’t work as he knows the driver will know Woody isn’t Rosco. Woody asks that he really thinks so, saying he doesn’t and if the driver can’t, Rosco gets the blame. He then uses Rosco’s catch phrase saying ‘I love it, I love it.’.

Kelly goes outside, before returning to inform them that everyone thinks Rosco drowned. Arnie says for Woody to come up with some story about how he pulled himself out of the lake. Woody agrees, saying he’ll just ‘wander around for twenty four hours’ and then come out and pretend that he doesn’t remember the accident. Rosco accidently gives them the idea to claim Woody hit his head on a rock. He says he can just play it stupid like the Sheriff for giving them the idea, to which Rosco asks who he’s calling dumb before calling Woody a pea picker.

The next morning, Kelly takes him to town and he makes a fake bruise on his head with makeup as they drive. He shows it to Kelly, who says it is good enough. As Kelly drops him off in town, he reminds him to call them if anything changes. He tells Kelly not to worry and gets out of the car, saying to ‘think hurt’.

Woody walks toward the Hogg Family home, holding his head and pretending to be injured. He makes it to the Hogg family home before Enos suddenly spins him around in a hug. He is quickly hugged by Lulu and Boss, who yells for everyone to feel him as he is real. Daisy then hugs him and he hugs her back. Daisy welcomes him home and Bo and Luke shake his hand, saying no one is as happy to see him as they are. Cooter says it looks like he took a hit and Woody tells them that when he went into the lake he hit his head on the rock as he swam out. Lulu says his head is all black and blue and Daisy says they need to get him to the doctor. Woody says he already saw the doc and was told it was just a minor injury. Enos points out Flash and Woody goes to greet the dog saying ‘oh yes the puppy’ and addressed Flash as a boy, but Flash snaps at him. Daisy says Flash is a girl and he says he meant girl and he thinks she’s mad that he hasn’t been there to feed her. Woody then goes to Boss and reminds him of the armored car. He tries to follow Boss as the man goes inside, but Bo stops him asking if he remembers the parking ticket he tried to give them and saying that him and Luke would be proud to take it from him now. Not knowing what the boys are taking about, Woody says ‘those parking tickets’ before telling the boys to forget about it as he’s got other things to think about. He leaves with Boss and Enos.

At the station, he looks over the security plans with Boss and Enos. Boss asks that he remembers everything that he’s supposed to do, which he says he certainly does. He’s surprised when Bo and Luke come in, Bo wearing a hat that is covering his eyes. The boys say it’s his hat and Bo hands it to him. He puts it on, but realizing it’s too small he quickly pulls it off. He thanks Bo, addressing him as Luke which surprises everyone. Enos tells him that it was Bo and Bo and Luke point out Luke. Woody remarks ‘of course you are.’ He says he knows that he just has a tremendous pain. Boss shoos out the boys and the phone rings. When Boss answers it, he asks Woody ‘ain’t you gonna say it?’. Woody asks what is he supposed to say and Boss says that he always says to say ‘hello from Rosco’. Woody does and Boss tells him he will not. Boss informs them that the armored car had a flat tire and will be an hour late. Boss says he’s going into his office and Woody realizes he needs to call the others. He tells Enos to stay and study the chart before leaving. He uses a pay phone to call Arnie and tell him of the change.

He goes back into the station and Enos greets him. He tells Enos that he has a headache and asks where the aspirin is. Enos says it’s in the medicine cabinet like always. He says of course and goes over to it, saying the headache is killing him. Enos offers to get him food from Vinnie’s and he asks who Vinnie is. Enos says he is the one who makes his favorite possum pie. Bo and Luke come in and annoyed, he goes over asking what they are doing there. The boys say they talked to the doctor and were told to take him to the hospital. He refuses, telling them he isn’t going over there. The boys insist and Bo tries to escort him out but Woody pulls a gun on him. He says he isn’t going anywhere and Enos takes the gun and tells him he needs to do what Doc Appleby says to. Woody tells Enos he’s a traitor and they have a job to do, but Enos says he can do that himself. He gives the gun back to Woody, and realizing he can’t get out of it without raising suspicion he agrees saying first he has to put some files on Boss’ desk. He starts toward the office but Enos says no. Bo points in the right direction, and Enos tells him where to go. He goes into the office and calls the others. He informs them what is going on and tells Arnie that they need to get him out of this.

He comes out of the office and says he’s ready to go now. Enos says he’s doing the right thing and he leaves with Bo and Luke.

In the General, he sits between Bo and Luke and tells them he’s not really feeling that bad and they can forget the hospital and go back to Hazzard. Luke says to let the Doc judge that and he pleads with ‘Bo’ getting the boys both upset. Bo says he keeps making the same mistake, that ‘that’s Luke, I’m Bo. You’re sick’.

As they drive, Arnie and Kelly catch up. The two start ramming into the General and he tells the boys that they are in violation of the law and to pull over so he can give them a ticket. Bo says he’d rather run away this time and Woody says he told him to pull over before slamming on the breaks. They get out of the car and Bo asks if he’s satisfied. When Arnie addresses him as Woody, Bo asks who the heck is Woody and he tells Bo and Luke that he is Woody. He says he thought they would like a good performance. Luke realizes he ain’t Rosco and Bo doesn’t believe that until Woody points a gun at Bo, then Bo agrees it isn’t Rosco. Bo demands to know what they did with Rosco, but Woody has Arnie and Kelly put the boys in their car. When the boys hesitate he shoves Bo in, telling him to get in and Bo snaps that he’s going. Woody covers the boys from the front seat.

At their hideout he secures Bo to a chair while Kelly ties up Luke. When Arnie says they got ten minutes, he tightens Bo’s ropes. Bo asks if it has to be that tight and he tells him to shut up, to which Bo comments ‘yes sir.’ He leaves with Arnie and Kelly to go to town.

They arrive in town and Arnie tells him to get going and to make it good. Woody says he does not give a good performance, he gives the best before making his way to Boss and Enos. When Boss ask where he has been, he says he’s reporting for duty. Enos says he is supposed to be on the way to the hospital but the armored car arrives, allowing him to get away without addressing it. Woody goes up to the driver, getting confirmed to be Rosco. As the driver gets out the money, Boss tells him to be alert in case there is any trouble. He pulls out a gun, pointing it at Boss and grabbing for the money saying ‘you already have trouble fat man.’ He takes the money and forces them all to drop their weapons. When Boss asks if this is a joke, he fires his weapon in the air asking if that sounds like a joke before putting the two guards, Boss, and Enos in the back of the armored truck.

They escape out of town before they are nearly hit by a jeep and forced down a new road. A few moments later they are forced down another road by a pickup. Then the General Lee catches up with them, hitting them and they go into a pond. He swims out with the money where he is confronted by Rosco. He tells Rosco to let him have it as Rosco tries to take the money and Rosco punches him in the face. He gets back up and is arrested when Rosco proves he is who he says he is.

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